Are you a Pirate or a Ninja?

Way back, (not that far back, mind) I was in college. Trying to make sense of the dating-verse, I wrote this how-to pamphlet. Here's an excerpt. Which category do you fall in?

Okay, here’s the deal. Dating isn’t as difficult as people make it out to be. Only the truly clueless or truly careless make it out as a complicated convoluted process. Never fear those of you who wander. Weary travelers in the dating universe, there is hope. This book is a small beacon of light to guide you. It is merely a comment on the ever changing nature of dating. * However, most, and if not all, of the principles are eternal. The mental musings and prolific ponderings contained in these pages are facts and theories which have been garnered through painstaking research. They are theories which should be employed by every member of Singleton hoping to become citizens of Couplesville. I mean, let’s face it, you gotta’ know the basics --- the x’s and o’s , if you will. And I think you will.

There are two different types of people in this world: pirates and ninjas. Pirates are swashbuckling scoundrels who like to go into any situation with their guns blazing. They’re the get’er-done, impatient, shoot first, ask questions later type. You’ll always know a pirate’s intentions. Pirates will always let you know where you stand. The advantage of pirates is that they are usually quick on their feet and have a small filter between their brain and their mouth. Most pirates are lucky to realize that they said or did something unusual, and perhaps inappropriate. It’s like firing a canon ball to get someone’s attention when they are standing 3 feet away from you. Some pirates get by on nothing more than blasting balls and pure bravado. While there are advantages to piracy, like booty and parrots, there is always the chance that pirates will get burned. In fact on a scale of zilch to scorch, in terms of relationships, pirates usually get nuked.

Ninjas on the other hand are quiet and sneaky. They like to plan and calculate, and are exact and precise, nay even cunning. I’ve even known a ninja or two to take meticulous notes of habits of others—of course if this is taken to an extreme level it is known as voyeurism and is frowned upon by many societies. A ninja will never commit to something they are unsure about. Ninjas like to assess situations, hide in the shadows, and then make their move. However, the advantage to the ninja strategy is that the ninja knows what they are up against. A ninja is so cautious and careful that often they lie wait in the shadows too long. However, if a ninja decides that the opportune moment has arrived, they strike with pinpoint precision.

Guess which one I'm in?